Cry your heart out <3

I often get made fun of for being an easy crier, particularly by my oldest son Luke. I bawled through Legends of the Fall this past weekend for the 100th time. I will cry in moments when I am bursting with pride for my kids. I will cry when talking to special people in my life who always "see me", the kind of person who asks "how are you?" and really wants to know the answer. Certain songs--Time to say Goodbye by Andrea Bocelli will really get me going for multiple reasons. I will cry for animals who are suffering. Luke pointed out that I gasp like I've been shot when I see a dead animal, and I told him it's because I actually feel it that way--like a sharp pain in my own gut. Most often though, I cry when I am speaking the truth. And it is the tears that actually remind me to pay attention to what is happening, this is REAL, this matters.

My father was an easy crier also, and I really admired that about him. He did not hide how he felt (good or bad), and in this way he gave me permission to express my feelings. And believe me, I expressed quite the range of feelings to him in my lifetime!

I actually enjoy crying. I would always rather be crying than feeling numb or dull. It is a wave of emotion, a beautiful release. And most importantly it TRANSMUTES. We are able to "move through" as a result of crying: shift the perspective, the circumstances, the feeling. In my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV, very often I see women say to each other "don't cry!" and I don't understand it! Do people still think it's a sign of weakness? That somehow it's better to bottle it up? Just yesterday I was telling Everet that it is good to make sounds that express your feelings---after he made a big UGGGGGHH! and Chris said "that's mommy's sound". But the more we bottle it up, the more we hold it in, the more we numb it out, the longer it will stay with us and the more stuck we will be! If you allow yourself to FEEL, allow yourself to cry, allow yourself to scream! You will be able to MOVE THROUGH IT.

Yes, it can be hard to witness someone else crying. But it is in the witnessing that you hold the space for them. There have been many times when one of my children was crying and I didn't feel like I could take it at that moment. That it was too much for me to bear. And maybe I tried to distract them, or maybe I even told them to stop. But what works the best??? When I don't DO anything, but instead, stop what I'm doing and just hold them. Sometimes they would just need a long hug, and then everything would be fine. Other times, some of my boys don't want to be hugged, but just needed undivided attention and witnessing. Not solving, just witnessing. I know that that's what I want when I'm crying--I certainly don't want to be told what to do! (I'm a bit head strong.) In the spiritual group that I have been a part of the last four years, that is the practice--to witness. Because in the idea of witnessing another, you are allowing them to be whole, not broken, not needing advice, not needing to be fixed. Because the greatest wisdom comes from within. That same wisdom you can attain through meditation or prayer. The idea that we don't have to look for answers outside of ourselves--that all the answers we need are within.

So please, coming from a crier---cry your heart out, scream if you want to (it feels so good!), howl at the moon (very liberating :)), LET YOUR FEELINGS BE FELT. Let it all out! Because then we can keep evolving. Keep changing. And hopefully then become the best that we can be, the best possible versions of ourselves.

Love, Lisie